Release of Book !!

Pleased to share the release of book:          

In Search Of...: What's always there...Subtly                                        [Kindle Edition]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SW7L1QK

Seeking your good wishes 

Book Description

It's a delight to see a seasoned artist perform. You can enjoy every move, absorb the rhythm and relate to the character. While I deeply value such artists, their genius, dedication and commitment, I know that this line is not ...my Call!

In the gentle footsteps of a child, in innocent gesture of a close one, in fine notes of a song, in tender move of a twig, in sweet stretch of a pet, in few challenging situations and sometimes in silence, I have heard ...my Call!

In words of Rabindranath Tagore “The blossom has not opened; only the wind is sighing by. I have not seen his face, nor have I listened to his voice; only I have heard his gentle footsteps from the road before my house. ”

Long back, I had the privilege of attending the music program of a Ghazal Master. During the performance, he briefly drifted into a sentimental patch, probably trying to share some of his inner pain. The audience was not impressed and made their point clear. What may appear as an ordinary observation at one stage, can serve as a pretty significant insight in another context, may be years later. At times, the imprints left within by several friends, relations and co-travellers, often just in the passing, help you decipher the passage for yourself, put the pieces together and assemble your own...scaffolding!

After fifteen years of a fine travel with our precious pet dog, we had to put him down recently due to rapidly deteriorating health. Picasso once said, of his favourite dog, "Lump, he’s not a dog, he’s not a little man, he’s somebody else". Often they add to your being... well beyond the...scaffolding!

This book is a humble attempt to…assemble and dismantle a scaffolding… listen to and share...my Call... probably ... “I have heard his gentle footsteps!”

... the Song Unsung !

In his famous poem Tagore Sahib says "The song that I came to sing remains unsung to this day.. I have spent my days in stringing and in unstringing my instrument.. The time has not come true, the words have not been rightly set; only there is the agony of wishing in my heart... I have not seen his face, nor have I listened to his voice; only I have heard his gentle footsteps from the road before my house....The livelong day has passed in spreading his seat on the floor; but the lamp has not been lit and I cannot ask him into my house. ...I live in the hope of meeting with him; but this meeting is not yet."

It's inspiring to see how an artist can so beautifully capture, preserve, nurture and then share such a tender thought. In all humbleness, to a degree, I feel that I have been able to sing.."The song that I came to sing.." 

Given our ability to seek, reflect upon and partly comprehend the Absolute, how simple to accept that " ...only I have heard his gentle footsteps from the road before my house"

Among the most fundamental of human faculties is ... "the hope of meeting with him". To that effect, we are all, in our ways, trying to absorb ... the Song Unsung !

...the Mantra!

Based on our nature, nurture, circumstances... we gradually figure out our formula to keep afloat... the Mantra!

How much importance we attach to an issue ... to our drive... to our values... point to... the Mantra!

For many years I have been having a glass of warm water with honey and lemon in the morning, as suggested by many for good health. Generally I am more comfortable in outdoors than indoors. Going for a walk stimulates me at many levels. For me it’s all part of... the Mantra!

A piece of music that stirs you, ... a story that inspires you...a dream that drives you... the resilience that sustains you... point to... the Mantra!

Gradually you come to realise that you are not far from ...the Mantra!

...what’s mine!

It’s human nature to come to terms with, understand, comprehend and possibly float easily with the Nature. It’s a delight to see the fine work of different seekers – poets, painters, scholars, artists, reformers... it’s an ongoing effort to understand...what’s mine!

Going for a walk with the pet, can be a pretty fulfilling experience. So can be a relaxed chat with a friend... a fine song that you have enjoyed over the years... a lively evening with a group..gradually I am finding that all these help me figure out ...what’s mine!

Reflecting on an experience... good or not so good... comforting or threatening ... uplifting or humiliating... helps me decipher. As the pendulum swings to & fro...seasons change.. still something stays steady...what’s mine!

A certain degree of detachment, discrimination... effortless observation... a sprinkle of humour...helps me absorb... ...what’s mine!

...the same source!

It’s fascinating to see the way our desires originate, shape up, find fulfilment & then gradually dissolve into...the same source!

I have had the privilege to be associated with several people in varied contexts. Every transaction has its own backdrop, flow, ripples, highs & lows ... finally to be absorbed into ...the same source!

Having experienced a wide range of opposites ... intense loneliness to fine friendship...daunting humiliation to graceful acknowledgement... moments of self doubt to glimpse of bliss... one can sense that it’s coming from and pointing to...the same source!

When Shakespeare said...To be or Not to Be.. perhaps he was pointing to...the same source!

... the Design !

The story goes that a young princess Pootna was simply smitten by a good looking young monk vising the palace. She earnestly wished to "mother" him. Some time later, following some unpleasant exchange, she was determined to "poison" him! Given the intensity of her desire, it's said, The Lord granted both, eventually taking her in His care. The story helps me decipher ... the Design !


It's fascinating to see countless translations of this saga in everyday life. How easily our desires multiply, change form and drive us to achieve, sustain, posses and preserve. Long back, I do remember, getting concerned about academic grades on a few occasions. On most occasions, I was able to bounce back right away ! In the midst of it all, you try to figure out ... the Design !


Most economic models try to establish and validate any proposal in terms of Net Present Value. Any step we take is certainly influenced by the perceived value of returns. The beauty of human life lies in the ever changing, evolving, organic and subjective nature of ... the Design !


Several suggestions have been offered to help as along. A friendly dialogue, sharing notes, silent reflection and meditation, determined outlook, guidance from learned ones and a generous dose of humour helps me comprehend. It seems that our passage, is also part of ... the Design !

... muddy Lotus

We are often advised to stay and operate efficiently wherever we are, in whatever we are doing. Typical example is that of the lotus - "floating" gracefully even in muddy waters. It's said that a drop of water "wants" to return to muddy conditions, after floating in the clouds for a while. We are told Buddhas return as everyday beings!

To enjoy the beauty of a live lotus, we need to "accept" the mud it stands in. To admire the bravery of the soldier, we have to "see" the war being fought. As they say - a ship is safe in the harbour, but it is not designed for that.

Having read about a few creative artists & poets, it's becoming clear that they are mostly "talking" about their own experiences.

Few months back, I had gone for a haircut. Without much wait, the hairdresser K came over, introduced himself & directed me to the chair. During next few minutes of haircut, he shared several significant events of his life, leaving a fine print within.

At any cross section, am trying to understand & appreciate the ... muddy Lotus!

...Melting Moments !

There are several moments, mostly unplanned and unpredictable that seem to suddenly melt your inner being. The flood of emotions at these times, shakes you to the core ! This is to share some of these rich moments.

- about 7 years back, I was visiting a close family elder, who was not keeping well. His condition disturbed me. I had seen him for years in fine spirits - always in warm friendly frame. At this point, all I could do was hold his hand and sob!
- Few years back, I had picked up a favourite CD to listen to on the way to work. The moment the song started, I was flooded !
- A simple warm gesture from a pet can sometimes stir many chords within !
- A tiny toddler resting in your lap can easily give you a feeling of bliss! A toddler crying can shake my inner being !
- Some 25 years back, one fellow hostler declared that he was going to tickle a pillar & Raj is going to crack laughing. He did precisely that & I was nearly rolling on floor laughing ...

The list can go on ... These tender moments, represent to me the firm ground, on which we stand to grow!

....rationale of my existence!

Its fascinating to see how human relationships evolve and have the potential to transform one's inner Being. The poet has beautifully captured this in these fine lines in Urdu.
Rafta rafta woh meri hasti ka saamaan ho gayey [ Gradually, it became the power/reason of my existence]
Pehlay jaan, phir jaan-e-jaan, phir jaan-e-jaana ho gayey [First my life, then the love of my life, then it became the beloved of my life]
Din-b-din badti gehin us husn ki raaniyaan [Day by day, their beauty / influence increased]
Pehlay Gul, phir gul-badan, phir gul-badamaan ho gayey ! [First a rose, then the body of a rose, then it became the greatest rose]
Aap to nazdeek say nazdeek-tar aatay gahey [You became closer and closer to me]
Pehlay dil, phir dilruba, phir dil kay mehmaan ho gayey [First the heart, then the sweetheart, then you became the guest of the heart]
Pyar jab Hadd se badha saare Taqaloof mith gayey[When love grew to its limit, all formalities got destroyed]
Aaap se phir tum huay phir tu ka Khunwaan hogayey [From a formal ‘you’ to an informal ‘you’, then ‘you’ disappeared]

To me this represents a fairly evolved stage of Unity - where formalities drop off automatically! Beauty is that this fine degree of empathy can be experienced with anyone - a close relation, companion, child, mentor, pet, even one's vocation / profession can be ...rationale of one's existence !

...tick of approval !

To enjoy a certain degree of comfort within, we do need feedback, affirmation, approval from fellow humans, for certain length of time at least. Gradually you try to figure out the basic measures, essentially to validate your own steps. Am finding suggestions from ancient texts pretty helpful in this process. The three leading pointers include:

Parental Debt [ Pitri Rin in Sanskrit] : Given that we get initial nature, nurture, bonding in parental setting, its desirable to repay the best one can! My personal orientation has been to be mindful of elders’ needs and accommodate in the best possible way. Further translation of it has meant – providing a “secure” environment for kids! At this cross section, with all humility, am pleased to tick this element.

Teachers’ Debt [Guru Rin in Sanskrit] is our obligation towards those who helped our learning along the way! It has been my rigorous effort to maintain good rapport with all that have facilitated learning in any setting. In addition, keen effort has been made to pass on my own understanding to younger generation! It’s almost a tick!

Nature’s’ Debt [Dev Rin in Sanskrit] is our obligation towards Nature, Divine forces. The suggested means include charity. I am keenly aware of this dimension and the need to decipher my own nature. Among many boons I have enjoyed, Friendship certainly is one. My orientation towards friends remains one of mutual acceptance, little or no expectation, no regrets, easy bonding and sharing – preferably a good laugh as well! It is my earnest effort to nurture and sustain this dimension all the way for. .. Tick of approval!

... dance for Me

It’s with salutations to our two pets – Cheeko & Cherry – who have added lots to our life – though physically small, they have huge personality & influence. Am personally of the belief that our pets are related to us – we have traveled together in an earlier life time as well, I feel

Among the things that are prominently visible – unconditional love, non stop playfulness, ability to enjoy simple things in life – just food, walk in the park, faultless loyalty, a friendly disposition all the time. Its a delight to see their excitement & joy as you reach home or once they figure out you are taking them for a walk! They almost dance in ecstasy!

Hopefully, one day, with same intensity & purity ... am able to ..... dance for Me!

...power of prayer!

Having seen almost all elders pray in different shapes & forms, there is an implicit faith and acceptance within of the power of prayer!

To begin with one prays for material gain, achievement, a sense of self-worth, security, social status…On several occasions, automatically, you find yourself praying for the well being of nears & dears. It has been a pleasure to have seen several deep rooted prayers mature beautifully ... not necessarily in a linear fashion.

Gradually you try to figure out, who is asking Whom for What! At this cross-section, the best I can say I am seeking Faith, It’s said that a little mouse in a cat’s mouth feels most scared. A little kitten in cat’s mouth feels most safe! It’s essentially a matter of cultivating Faith!

One can just admire the creative genius of several artists that have captured such fine notes, so beautifully: [In Punjabi : Hor kee mangna main rabb kolon, nit kher manga tere dum dee, baaj sajjan lajjpaal tere, mai kohjian kede kaam dee] what more can I ask God, I pray only for your longer life, because without my guardian my true love, I am worthless …

http://punjabi-songs-lyrics.blogspot.com/2009/06/nitt-khair-manga-sohneya-mai-teri.html

.... probably am a liar !

During his rigorous training, one day a young monk spread his Guru’s cloth for drying, as we are told. Later that evening the cloth is found to have a little scratch – while the young monk pleads innocence – he is labelled as a Liar by the Guru – that too in presence of others! Much later the young monk figured out that the Guru was right – TRUTH can not be described & hence he was a Liar!


Gradually am finding that ... probably am a liar because I can hardly describe completely:
- the satisfaction I can derive from a cup of coffee
- the lasting impression that a brief encounter with another being can leave within
- the reason a warm gesture from our pet can reduce me to tears sometimes
- the fact that some piece of music can shake the core within, even after few decades

Hopefully, I get to the stage where I need not say that .... probably am a liar!

... illustrating me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SDifpQhGQY

main Khayaal huuN kisii aur kaa, mujhe sochataa koii aur hai[Am someone’s thought : am thought by someone else!!]
Ability of poets, artists and sages to decipher and present fine elements of Life has fascinated me for decades. This is to share a few waves, beautifully captured, tenderly preserved and tastefully decorated through this Gazaal… illustrating me!! much better than I can aim for

main kisii ke dast-e-talab men huuN, to kisii ke harf-e-duaa men huuN
Having walked several steps and miles with different people at varying platforms, am delighted to be part of many lives, the roles that one has played, the warmth that has been shared, the obstacles that have been overcome! The poet adds “Am part of someone’s prayers, some want my company for fun!!” It’s a complete expression!!

main nasiib huuN kisii aur kaa, mujhe maaNgataa koii aur hai [ I become someone’s destiny! Someone else asks for me!] Given that Life is understandable to a certain degree only: we are often trying to cope with a state of flux!

meraa jurm to koii aur thaa, par merii sazaa koii aur hai[My fault was something else: am given some other punishment] It’s certainly difficult for me to correlate: what I have been “awarded” or “punished” for. Infact what appears as “punishment” at one stage, at times turns out to be a blessing in another context!!

Tujhee dushmanoo kee khabaar naa the : mujhe dostoon kaa pata na tha !! [You had no news about your enemies; I was missing the news about my friends] We all have different craving at different cross sections. I have very eagerly waited to hear about welfare of my friends and relations!! There have been occasions when moves of some people have caused unease within!

tuu qariib aa tujhe dekh luuN, tuu vahii hai yaa koii aur hai
[Do come close to me: so that that I can see that you are the One, not someone else!!]

With a sincere wish that we can be with the One!

…floating in bliss!

The entire human journey seems to be an effort to figure out & make friends with the ONE, who resides within. Few notes in line with a popular Qwalee describing this!
The poet says "Near and far, somebody lives: somebody do lives in my heart." in Urdu paas rahtaa hai duur rahtaa hai ko’ii dil meN zaruur rahtaa hai

Our inspiration can be from any source. Once the inspiration settles within, the drive is automatic! "From the time I have seen their sight, I remain mildly intoxicated. “jab se dekhaa hai unkii aaNkhoN ko halkaa halkaa suruur rahtaa hai

Its a blessing to be in an ecstatic frame, without any fear or greed, most of the time. My understanding remains that this state is achievable with due dedication, practice and Grace from above ! "“Adam” is of such a disposition that at every step he remains intoxicated and ecstatic." ab “Adam” kaa vo haal hai har qadam mast rahtaa hai chuur rahtaa hai
Several scholars, poets, sages have highlighted the impact of graceful look of a Realised Soul. The poet adds This mild intoxication is because of your Sight / Eyes, that taught me drinking.[ The words "intoxication" & "wine" need careful interpretation!] ye jo halkaa halkaa suruur hai, ye terii nazar kaa qusuur hai, ke sharaab piina sikha diyaa
The poetic description of elated state where the whole landscape is filled with Grace, Peace and Joy is experienced by us all, at least momentarily! “saaraa jahaaN mast, jahaaN kaa nizaam mast, din mast, raat mast, saher mast, shaam mast, mast”

The poet has beautifully described his devotion to & faith in the Chosen One. We are advised that there are no formalities between us & our Chosen One: just pure Friendship, Oneness and Unity. As the poet says neither I know prayers nor ablutions, I prostate whenever you come in front of me. na namaaz aatii hai mujhko na vuzuu aataa hai, sajdaa kar letaa huuN jab saamne tuu aataa hai

The poet has beautifully captured the essence of Union with the Higher Self: The distinction between You & Me vanishes. Your remembrance is my prayer [and] your wish is my wish. This is the miracle of my frenzy that where ever I prostrated a place of worship was made there. jo terii Khushii, vo merii Khushii
ye mere junuuN kaa hai mo’jizaa, jahaaN apne sar ko jhukaa diyaa
vahaaN maine Kaaba banaa diyaa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj510jk-BH4

... looking at You!

There is longing within at certain stages in our life, for the fine union with the Infinite...

Kiven mukray tun nazran hataavan Kay tere vichun rab disda [How do I turn my attention away from your face: for I see the lord therein !]

Minnu shauq mahi tere deedar da, Mukh rab da hai, muck sarkaar da sajna[I long to see your Face. It’s the face of the Lord for me!!]

Iss ishq di marz anokhi ae, Nayee hatdi vedh haqeeman tun
Tere saamne marzan katt jaavan Mere dard da chaara tun ve
[The ‘pain’ caused by this Love is strange indeed, not curable by physicians. ‘Am prepared to sacrifice myself completely: as You are the only cure for my Pain!]

Naii teryan nazaaryan jee bharda, Tennu takda ravvan ae jee karda[I can’t get enough of your Sight, just want to look at You endlessly!]

Mukhra dhekna tera, hajj sadda Teri deed ae namaaz saddi
[Looking at You is my supreme pilgrimage, To see You is my prayer!]

Ro ro kay hanju suk gaye ne Taaray vi gin gin muk gaye ne
[The tears have dried off after long crying. The stars have also gradually disappeared]

Teri deed umeed hai jeenay di Ik pal araam na theevay aaye
[Prospect of meeting you is my only Hope, otherwise there is no respite for me]

Chad doorian nu kadhi kohl tea a Dhuk sunan sunaan nu jee karda [Leave this distance come close to me, Am longing to share the joys & sorrows with You]

Mein qabar de vich vi jag soneya Akh kholan saamnay tun hovayn [I want wish to see You in front of me : even when I open my eyes in my grave]

Tennu akhiyan de vich mein lukhaavan Kay tere vichun rab disda. [ Want to hide you in my eyes, for I see the Lord in You]

Tun mera mein teri hovan [Want to realise: You are mine & am Yours!]

There is longing within at certain stages in our life, for the fine union with the Infinite. To start with, this can be experienced through relations, friends, pets, passion, profession and even a benevolent cause. It’s deeply moving to have a glimpse of this all consuming, almost deafening and overpowering Love – that defines Itself. It has been my great fortune to have seen this Love – manifest Itself on several occasions, especially through caring souls, when they find a loved one at stake…

With an earnest wish to get to the state where: You are mine & am Yours!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMsCM9NDbIw

Where are You !

• We all need friendly contact based on our nature & nurture.
• Distance from nears & dears can be a daunting experience for most - even during the best of circumstance for the strong willed as well!!
• Several poets have tried to capture this distance beautifully
  Akhiya Udeek Diyan Dil Vaaja Maarda Aaja Pardesiya Vaasta Eh Pyaar Da Aaja Tenu Akhiya Udeek Diyan
  [Translation: My eyes long for you: this Heart calls for you O Dear! Please appear O Foreigner, for the sake of my love!!]
• Gradually it emerges that the "real" friend resides within, always - quietly!!
• Given that the "real" friend is so close - its not visible to the naked eye. It can be felt at certain times
• Its fascinating to see that most of us, most of the time, are seeking something - that we already have and don't need much else!!
• We are aware that our heart beats - non-stop, our organs function non-stop mostly without our knowledge. We need assistance to "listen" to our organs that are functioning within. Perhaps we need assistance, practice, patience and silence to listen to this closest friend residing within.
• One is aware of immediate surroundings: our actions, reactions, concerns, thoughts, most of the time, when one is awake. We have memories of all sorts from past experiences, pleasant & not so pleasant. Sometimes, one has only a partial recollection of an event - "I remember meeting them at 6 pm outside the station - I do not remember what we had for dinner" it becomes clearer that "I" is always present, as a witness, fully aware of what's going on....
• This ever present, often felt, very seldom visible friend - needs fine tuning and silence to "reveal" itself - its there always!! its more than:
  o our thoughts - : thoughts are very strong forces : still transitory
  o our thrills, fears, concerns, plans - these are also forces to be aware of - these are not permanent
• Its probably the canvas - on which Life paints itself - every moment!!
• Am pleased to reflect and include earlier notes from the diary as well :
  Love thy neighbour: to develop a relaxed, friendly orientation towards oneself, it’s imperative to: know, understand yourself - your primary needs, fears & driving forces: provide for, arrange, reinforce, facilitate your own support structure - it often involves family & friends: forgiveness towards yourself - nobody is perfect: charity begins at home - be kind to yourself also: listen to the "kid" within!
  It's rather simple to conclude that “I " am just an observer of this ever changing, never stopping Samsara. The OBSERVER (" I ") is Always there – whenever there is any observation, experience, expression, interaction :UNAFFECTED by the phenomenon – its detached by its very nature : At times mixed up with body-mind complex – It "appears" to be in pain, pleasure, concerned, delighted etc – Actually it is NOT !

Dharma !

Like any other word that points to a process within and manifestation outside, Dharma can be interpreted, illustrated and assimilated in many different ways. One of the more practical illustrations that I have come across implies “that which holds you together: prevents disintegration”.

Based on our nature & nurture, we absorb from our surroundings: our behavior and thought pattern. At social and operational level, any effort that helps with internal consolidation is acceptable: reading a certain text, worshiping a certain deity, following a certain routine or ritual, chanting a mantra: essentially to strengthen mind and body – to prevent disintegration.

We are familiar with common folklores where evolved souls have sought further direction from simple every day beings like the cobbler, the fisherman or the householder or for that matter a rat or a snake! The basic underlying Unity, as we are told, permeates throughout anyway. In my limited experience, there have been several occasions when a cab driver, a security guard, a maid, an hotelier, a close relation, an associate or a pet have provided valuable insights towards this Unity!!

When asked how long the legs should be, we are told, Aristotle said: “long enough to reach the ground”. My Dharma is my ground: so is yours too!! It keeps us Grounded, connected and consolidated as One entity. One gradually figures out one’s Ground!

It’s said that if you give someone a ton of fish, you are feeding them for a month. If you teach them fishing: you are feeding them for a life time! By logical extension: a real friend is one who “imparts” the skills and “disappears” in the background! That’s your Dharma: the silent, benevolent, ever-present, yet mostly invisible Friend!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo0EqAWHGdg :

This song – is a devotional dialogue between a devotee & Divine - trying to understand what it is ALL about!
Tum Ek Gorakh Dhanda Ho

[Translation] Sometimes you are hidden as non-existence and somewhere you appear as existence…If you are not then why deny? Even the negation confirms Your existence. The one I call my Existence who is that if not You? If you didn’t come in my thoughts…Then how did I learn you are God?

With earnest wish that we walk pleasantly with our Dharma!!!

Sublime Love

sirf ehsaas hai ye rooh se mehsoos karo

This is an effort to describe Life, Light & Love with the help of a beautiful song that has resonated within for four decades!

pyaar ko pyaar hi rehne do, koi naam na do:

pyaar koi bol nahi, pyaar awaaz nahi,
ek khamoshi hai sunti hai kaha karti hai
na ye bujhti hai na rukti hai, na thehri hai kahin,
noor ki boond hai, sadiyon se baha karti hai,
sirf ehsaas hai ye, haath se chhoo ke, ise rishton ka ilzaam na do,
Love / Light / Life are not a declaration, narration or a sound, rather it is a “silence” that listens and is heard within. It never extinguishes or stops. It does not stagnate at a place. It’s a drop of Bliss that has been flowing for ever! It’s essentially an internal experience. Let’s not contaminate it by touching or labeling it as an obligation. These couplets, to me, illustrate the core concepts of human knowledge: material, interpersonal & spiritual.

muskuraahat si khili rehti hai, aankhon mein kahin,
aur palkon pe ujale se, jhuke rehte hain
(In Love) a subtle glow and smile radiates through you, your face / looks.
In a simple way, as I can add, this glow can be seen on a tiny toddlers’ face, totally engrossed in making a sandcastle or a pet having a nap after a meal!!

honth kuchh kehte nahi, kaanpte honthon pe magar, kitne khaamosh se afsaane ruke rehte hain, sirf ehsaas hai ye, rooh se mahsoos karo
You do not say anything, but so many unsaid / subtle expressions are silently sitting there.

This fine state of bliss can be experienced, as I understand, in different contexts with a close relation, companion, pet, Nature / landscape

With a deep wish that we move towards Bliss, effortlessly!