…self-contained!

We come across caravans, carriages, apartments, ferries… equipped with a range of facilities, making them …self-contained!

As the saying goes…every man is an island…Each one of us has our own measure of intrinsic motivation, risk aversion, affinity for fellow travellers, conflict resolution…entropy tolerance… survival skills...probably making us…self-contained!

Interesting to see how a gentle suggestion from an associate, a casual remark from an opponent, an acknowledgement from a well-wisher… or a challenge presented can help us decipher our course of action. Any signal that finds a seat within is likely to be …self-contained!

I can try to illustrate the pleasure derived by talking to friend or relation, the frustration caused by certain development, the graceful walk with the pet, the contentment from a song…beyond a certain point, each experience is…self-contained!

It gradually becomes clear that each challenge we accept…each resolve we make…each stone we leave unturned…each laugh we share…eventually becomes…self-contained!

..role!

It’s a pleasure to watch a fine actor literally bring life to a character on screen or stage. There is an elderly lady, performing the role of an elegant, mature, forgiving mother/ grandmother in a fair few serials. In another serial the same lady is being manipulative and vindictive with the same degree of calibre. It does not take long to decipher that this highly talented actress is just doing her…role!

This little pet at home, mentioned a few times earlier, cannot qualify as a guard dog of any description. Despite limited movement and skills she is a reservoir of goodwill, grace and affection. Only after travelling together for several years, you get to comprehend its…role!

In several chemical reactions, we need a catalyst for the reaction to proceed smoothly. The catalyst does not participate in the reaction; it enables the process to proceed smoothly. It’s interesting to see how different situations and encounters stimulate or threaten us, empower or challenge us. Few years back, I had to take a stand against the bank lending manager for oversight of a loan condition. The matter had to be taken up at a higher level, before being resolved amicably. In hindsight, it was a catalyst for some fine learning…it had its…role!      

Mark Twain said “I never let schooling interfere with my education”… most of us grow up with the understanding that schooling has a… role!   

...the vacuum!

One of the fundamental necessities of life... our breath...relies on our diaphragm moving systematically to ensure...the vacuum!

It’s fascinating to see how much of our energy goes to maintain a sense of balance and belonging.  Decades back, when I returned home after spending 3 months away at the uni, I was elated to see the buses of Delhi. The phenomenon has repeated itself on few occasions. The intense longing for something can lead to a feeling of ...the vacuum!

We all have seen the upheaval in political, social, organisational and community circles for the top position. The second-in-line can cause quite an upheaval, driven by ...the vacuum!

I have enjoyed the fine Gazaals from a famous singer for some 25 years. I had the opportunity to join his concert recently. Some friends have shared their experience of personally dealing with the singer. While I deeply value his genius and commitment, there is no longing to explore further or any issue of ...the vacuum!

               

... What’s always there!

Many years back, I got my first tri-cycle. The context, the conversations and the contentment that day, sit within vividly. In case I was to get a tri-cycle today, it is of little use. Many such experiences help me reflect on... What’s always there!

There are several events, pointers and signals that shape our thought & action. I distinctly remember an aunt visiting our place long back to talk about her father’s accident. Over the years, I have seen several layers of the saga. While we learn at every step, am keen to relate to... What’s always there!

At any cross section, we can be thrilled, delighted, disturbed, irritated by some action or reaction. It takes quite some effort to relate to and be with... What’s always there!

. . . blissful ignorance !

We have all seen a baby cry for feed, comfort, company .... Once the needs are reasonably met, the little one is relaxed & often ...off to sleep. The sensory signals are at ease & it is enjoying ... blissful ignorance.

After a reasonable amount of work, at the end of everyday chores, one can easily slip into deep sleep, devoid of any concerns, dreams.. just in a state of ... blissful ignorance.

Having enjoyed several comedy shows and hearty laughs to the point of exhaustion, one can certainly reflect on the whole experience to conclude that one has been in a state of ... blissful ignorance.

Ironically, am finding that our moments of extreme fear, concern, humiliation and anxiety gradually pass and help us dig within for ... blissful ignorance.

… the natural duality !.

Had bought a pair of shoes recently. As it happens sometimes, the shoe was hurting at few points. Checked with the shop & was suggested a foam to “stretch” the shoe at the points needed. Luckily it worked out fine and it’s not a concern any more. It does interest me how closely our experience of ease, rest with experience of (un)ease. … the natural duality.

It’s fulfilling to enjoy a bite of good food, in a decent setting, especially in good company. While all ingredients can add to the completeness of the experience, the fundamental one is how hungry we are . … the natural duality.

There is certain comfort one can have in company of friends, relations, colleagues and associates. At the basic level, we gradually become accepting of our solitude . … the natural duality.

One can certainly appreciate the words of Kahlil Gibran
"When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

…. Poetic justice.

It’s human nature to search for the infinite in most dimensions. Be it our will, skill or effort, a certain notional ideal can be the driving force. This infinite reservoir can inspire us, make us perspire, while taking its own course for … Poetic justice.

Last year, during the trip to New Delhi, I was looking for a title at a bookstore. Literally, out of the blue, happened to see a little book – Letters to Sam by Daniel Gottlier – unrelated to what I was looking for. It’s a pleasure to see the way things shape up. Probably pointing to … Poetic justice.

Few moths back, a friend called up to say that he had a spare ticket to a concert for a famous classical singer. Having enjoyed his songs for many years, it was an opportunity not to miss. I was probably ready for this grand finale.. for .. Poetic justice.

This is to pay my respects to a professor who has been a significant figure in my life. While I was never his student, I have had the opportunity to interact with him at several stations and in varied contexts. He has been a guide, a friend, a fellow traveller at times. He has been gentle, frustrating and demanding on occasions. As I look back, he has a fine place within, pointing to …. Poetic justice.

.... what’s in front !

A toddler is sitting a few rows in front of me in the train. This cute little kid is pretty relaxed in company of his Dad. I can see rays of Divine reflection in.... what’s in front.

Few weeks back, I was at a social get-together. A few kids were singing a song in front of the gathering. Somehow, I was not with it. With the best of intent, you may not be able to relate to .... what’s in front.

There are several occasions when you can see that a common event is having a different impact on different people. Be it a movie, a cricket match, an election campaign or a burst water main. What’s at the back of your mind, does influence how you relate to .... what’s in front.

The story goes that a renowned professor visited a Zen master to learn about few finer points. The Master welcomed the guest & served him tea. He continued to pour tea, even when the cup was full. Dazzled, the prof remarked, how can you pour tea into cup that’s already full ! The Master added – perhaps you are like that cup – that’s already full!

To a degree, we need the empty cup... to capture, relish, absorb and be part of.... what’s in front.

...even Field.

As you take a little child for a walk ... in the right frame, you can enjoy every move, a little bite, a bit of sunshine and rain, a smile here & there. Many a time you realise, that you are fully absorbed in it.. there is no concern about the future or past, no age gap or expectation. It's an ...even Field.


Having walked with many in different settings, social and professional, one can see the variation in will & skill, effort & achievement, status & values... While the visible features vary significantly, deep down at one's core, it's an ...even Field.


At times, I am amazed by the precision of certain events that leave a fine print within : receiving a particular response, meeting a specific person at a certain point, taking a certain course of action... can appear as fine coincidences. At a root level it's an ...even Field.


Am reminded of elders I have grown up with. Over the years, some have passed away, some have deteriorated. Somewhere within, at times It reveals Itself that all is intact, it's an ...even Field.

...ATM

We can draw cash from an Automatic teller machine (ATM). With practice, we can figure out, where our attention is - at the moment (ATM)

As we prepare for an event, discussion, presentation, it just helps us manage what happens... ATM

Long back, I had a wart in my foot for few weeks. The doctor checked it, asked a question & gave the medicine. The relief was evident within minutes. This is just a vivid picture within...ATM

There are several events, immensely beautiful & fulfilling, inspiring & uplifting, frustrating & threatening, that we face during our journey. Am gradually realising, there are no ripples within.. ATM

As I write this note, sitting in the train, the guy sitting next to me is dozing off & leaning on me slightly. I can see that there is no impact within ... ATM

Am given to understand that most of what we need to learn, can be summed up as BE HERE NOW. In other words, just BE ...ATM

...my Call!

It's a delight to see a seasoned artist perform. You can enjoy every move, absorb the rhythm & relate to the character. While I deeply value such artists, their genius, dedication and commitment, I know that this line is not ...my Call!


One is certainly impressed by the drive and determination of so many people in such diverse fields as medicine, science, welfare, sports... With all the respect for these endeavours, am clear, it's not ...my Call!


In many close interactions, you can see that part of you is in sync with itself. At those points, you are not desirous of anything, nor are you afraid. You are effortlessly at peace and content with Existence. Like a tiny paper boat, you are fine with the waves. Such delicate moments point to ...my Call!


In the gentle footsteps of a child, in innocent gesture of a close one, in fine notes of a song, in tender move of a twig, in sweet stretch of a pet, in few challenging situations and sometimes in silence, I have heard ...my Call!

...dimensions of learning !

Sometimes the sight and plight of a close relation, friend, associate, even a pet and of course our own-self, can inspire us, grind us and uplift us. These are all ......dimensions of learning !

What catches my attention and inspires me, is actually not in my full control. An expression from Roosevelt "the only thing to fear is Fear" can influence the thought process at many levels. A fine narration of a character from centuries back, can find a seat within and gently guide many steps.

It's a pleasure to see the way several creative and gifted people, scholars ... in fact many many people have internalised and outgrown their limitations.

Few years back, I had gone to pick up our son from a friend's place. It was raining and wet allover. As I tried to rush towards the front of their door, I tripped on the way down. It was not a pleasant sight, but a good learning experience. As we know, there are many ...dimensions of learning !

...Nothing !!

This is partly to share the impression left within by quite a few acquaintances that have left the planet. Would like to mention our neighbour Bernie, a senior colleague Brian.... many a relation.... At this cross section, there is feeling of fine closure and acceptance. You wish them Peace, remember them warmly and carry .... Nothing.

As a child grows, learns to walk, it gradually lets go of your hand. The pleasure you derive from seeing your near ones grow is phenomenal. You pray for their well-being & expect ...Nothing.

For a very long time, I have enjoyed the preparation of an eatery in Delhi. Having left the place long back, you cherish the memory, value their expertise, but wait for ... Nothing.

Gradually, in most associations, you are trying to reach an even platform, where you value the contact & time, but expect ....Nothing !!

...Unknown !!

Once you wake up after a sound sleep, you feel relaxed & refreshed. In deep sleep, however, what goes on and your whereabouts are essentially ...Unknown !!

With the best of intent, one can take careful steps for well-being of all concerned. I can do my best to provide some humour, comfort & company. The exact course of events remains largely... Unknown !!

I do enjoy the company of friends & relations. It's a pleasure to share a fine thought, piece of music, a good meal, a joke with your nears & dears. Having said that, one needs one's solitude, little space as ... Unknown !!

Over 20 years back, I was deeply concerned to see a little boy struggling helplessly, as he watched his gardener father trapped by a faulty electrical cable. Luckily it got sorted. While I understand part of my sympathy for the boy, it remains largely ....Unknown !!

The two tiny pets at home, add to the quality of life. The younger one is 11 years of age & scared of clouds. In unsettled weather, she will walk right behind you. Who is adding to whose sense of security & well being remains largely ... Unknown !!

Over the years, I have thoroughly enjoyed fair few movies. They make you laugh, cry, reflect & even decipher basic life patterns. Knowing fully well that you are just watching a drama, part of you resonates & merges with the character for reasons ...Unknown !!

Am sure after a point, I will be a lot more comfortable, once am better friends with & more accepting of the ...Unknown !!

... muddy Lotus

We are often advised to stay and operate efficiently wherever we are, in whatever we are doing. Typical example is that of the lotus - "floating" gracefully even in muddy waters. It's said that a drop of water "wants" to return to muddy conditions, after floating in the clouds for a while. We are told Buddhas return as everyday beings!

To enjoy the beauty of a live lotus, we need to "accept" the mud it stands in. To admire the bravery of the soldier, we have to "see" the war being fought. As they say - a ship is safe in the harbour, but it is not designed for that.

Having read about a few creative artists & poets, it's becoming clear that they are mostly "talking" about their own experiences.

Few months back, I had gone for a haircut. Without much wait, the hairdresser K came over, introduced himself & directed me to the chair. During next few minutes of haircut, he shared several significant events of his life, leaving a fine print within.

At any cross section, am trying to understand & appreciate the ... muddy Lotus!

...the shifting ground!

Over four decades back, I picked up a few laminations from a discarded lot, on the way back from the primary school. It was a treasured lot for play. A close family friend, 'stole' some of these. I was really upset, even more concerned that my folks continued to be friends with "their" family. Gradually, the whole episode appears so insignificant and kid stuff ! I can see ... the shifting ground!

Nearly two decades back, we moved overseas. What was the foundation and identity for decades, the place of childhood, youth, marriage, birth of kids, the parental "home" continued to have massive pull within for long. After a while the parental family also migrated. Happened to visit the place few months back. While I have vivid memory of many miles, I can see ... the shifting ground!

Sitting in the train, on the way to/from work, sometimes I doze off. Few stations pass by, without noticing ...the shifting ground!

Gradually, am trying to figure out, what stays with you, despite ...the shifting ground!

....stick-ability !

From a very young age, I had the opportunity to prepare dough for bread - rotis, chapatties. Gradually you get used to the whole process and can experiment with few ingredients to add flavour and variety. Once the dough is ready, it stops sticking to the pan.


Interestingly, am finding that the process has several parallels : After reading a book, absorbing from it, reflecting on it, we can leave it gracefully. We can revisit, but don't have to stick to it. While one continues to learn all through life, one does not stick to the school or college. A ripe fruit does not stick to the branch!


Each association has its phases of forming, norming and storming. Gradually, you get past the point of stick-ability. Long back I read & accepted the phrase that 80 % of ones ability is stick-ability. At this cross section, my understanding is that it's an internal process !!

...Home Alone !

Its interesting that we humans can feel isolated, lonely by ourselves at various cross sections, even in pretty good circumstances!
- It can happen in company of several others, with whom we have / feel limited connection or common interest.
- Presence of challenges, responsibilities, hopelessness, fears can all lead to feeling of alienation
- Surprisingly, once 'am connected to myself, the external factors become less relevant & challenging. Listening to music, enjoying a comedy, sharing notes, spending time with family, friends & pets help me connect to myself.
- Its fascinating to see some evolved souls express the joy of solitude even in a cave. Few have composed poems expressing their link to the hostel room or even a prison cell.
I guess its a reflection of my inner state whether am feeling at home ... or Home Alone !

...the illusion !

It’s human nature to make sense of this ever-changing and evolving World around us. This is an attempt to decipher part of this phenomenon with the help of a famous poem, Gazaal

The poet has beautifully captured the illusionary, transitory, impermanent nature of the World we “see”: labelling it as a Magical Toy: it’s of little value when we have it, but becomes invaluable – in case we lose it!!

duniyaa jise kahate hain jaaduu kaa khilonaa hai
mil jaaye to miTTii hai kho jaaye to sonaa hai

For reason whatsoever there is no point cribbing all the time and not be fully with and absorbed in the present “moment”: whether it is the fine weather or even a solitary moment by itself

achchhaa saa koii mausam tanahaa saa koii aalam
har vaqt kaa ronaa to bekaar kaa ronaa hai

Highlighting the unpredictability of the events, the poet adds that the cloud has a mind of its own! Does it know which path to avoid & which roof to shower on!!

barsaat kaa baadal to diivaanaa hai kyaa jaane
kis raah se bachanaa hai kis chhat ko bhigonaa hai

Happiness & unhappiness are both temporary phenomenon: our companions for a short while, what remains is the passage, without any need to rejoice or regret!

gham ho ki khushii donon kuchh der ke saathii hain
phir rastaa hii ras-taa hai haNsanaa hai na ronaa ha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP5r23rVdew&feature=player_embedded#

... slowly slowly

Patience is often stated and experienced as a vital ingredient for day to day living, inner growth and development!! It’s well known that one has to undergo pretty arduous tasks, with elevated souls, to excel in any field!!

Kabir sahib said the same thru his doha :Dheere Dheere Re Mana, Dheere Sub Kutch Hoye : Mali Seenche So Ghara, Ritu Aaye Phal Hoye [Translation] Slowly slowly O mind, everything in own pace happens ;Gardner may water a hundred buckets, fruit arrives only in its season

We are generally advised to be slow & steady for Bhajan (devotional prayer) and Bhojan (eating) : am getting the same impression regarding most activities of life : there is not much point in rushing through a cup of coffee, or past your friends' birthday or your neighbour's narration of the flat tyre: as far as possible!! Patience is generally of good value while dealing with fellow humans at all levels!
In exceptional circumstances, we are told that a day can be counted as a year. After all Time is a relative concept: there are flies that live just for a day. On the other hand a day in the life of higher deities spans several million years!

Am reminded of a narration from Zen - it seems a student asked the Master - how long will it take to achieve enlightenment - if he followed the prescribed Path. About 5 years was the reply. The student was very keen - he asked if he devoted twice as much time every day - how long will it take - am given to understand the Master replied - 10 years!! The idea is that Nature takes its own course - while we do put in our bit!!
My personal understanding is that most of our sincere efforts bear fruit within 6 years (Ardh –Kumbh- half of 12 years is said to be full cycle ): while a very few deeper ones can take up to 36 years!!

It’s appropriate to quote the famous Gazaal Aah Ko Chahiye Ek Umar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kh0-ZTl0BeY&feature=related

Aah ko chaahiye ek umr asar hone tak ,[The sighs of love a life-time need, their object to attain], Kaun jeetaa hai teree zulf ke sar hone tak [Who lives long enough for your dark mysteries to attain?]. . . Khaak ho jaayenge ham tum ko Kabar hone tak [Dead and in the dust I’ll be when news of me you obtain]