..role!

It’s a pleasure to watch a fine actor literally bring life to a character on screen or stage. There is an elderly lady, performing the role of an elegant, mature, forgiving mother/ grandmother in a fair few serials. In another serial the same lady is being manipulative and vindictive with the same degree of calibre. It does not take long to decipher that this highly talented actress is just doing her…role!

This little pet at home, mentioned a few times earlier, cannot qualify as a guard dog of any description. Despite limited movement and skills she is a reservoir of goodwill, grace and affection. Only after travelling together for several years, you get to comprehend its…role!

In several chemical reactions, we need a catalyst for the reaction to proceed smoothly. The catalyst does not participate in the reaction; it enables the process to proceed smoothly. It’s interesting to see how different situations and encounters stimulate or threaten us, empower or challenge us. Few years back, I had to take a stand against the bank lending manager for oversight of a loan condition. The matter had to be taken up at a higher level, before being resolved amicably. In hindsight, it was a catalyst for some fine learning…it had its…role!      

Mark Twain said “I never let schooling interfere with my education”… most of us grow up with the understanding that schooling has a… role!   

…my brand!

Right from cosmetics, to travel, to clothing, one is familiar with different vendors promoting their wares. Given that perception matters on most fronts – political, social, commercial… I am trying to figure out…my brand!

In the best case scenario, we can concur on a range of issues – economic to entertainment, interpersonal to entrepreneurial! In the midst of it all, I am pretty sure, my experience, my reaction and resolve, my likes and dislikes establish…my brand!

We often hear the expression – it’s my way or Highway- to describe a determined and robust person. Like any other expression, we interpret and internalise each issue differently. My understanding of flexibility and rigidity, conformity and creativity… help me figure out…my brand!   

There is a nice little story by Tagore called “Kartar Bhoot,” or “The Ghost of the Leader,” … “A wise and highly respected leader who received unquestioned admiration from a community had become, in effect, a kind of tyrant when he lived, and enormously more so after he died. The story describes how ridiculously restrained people’s lives became when the dead leader’s recommendations get frozen into inflexible commands. In their impossibly difficult lives, when the members of the community pray to the dead leader to liberate them from their bondage, the leader reminds them that he exists only in their minds—that they are free to liberate themselves whenever they so decide”…In the final analysis, I have to comprehend, accept and live with……my brand! 

…part of me!

As a young student at the Uni, I have had the privilege of coming in contact with several brilliant and dedicated lecturers and students. Their passion, devotion and enthusiasm have certainly left a mark somewhere…it has become a…part of me!

There are several fellow travellers, friends, relations…that have added to the inner frequency by virtue of their sympathy or indifference, humility or arrogance, sense of composure or sheer desperation, honesty or deceit. Through years of association, reflection, assimilation and distillation…some fraction thereof has helped shape …part of me!

Long back I came across the book “How to make friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. The suggestions presented still make good sense and are acceptable. Few days back, I was slightly concerned to read some unfavourable comments about the book that has been around for some 70 years. In line with the prevailing social, economic and political environs, we do our bit to survive and thrive. We continue to fine tune our strategy and resolve. At a fundamental level only that ideology or habit works for me that is …part of me!

... ray of light !

Given that human life goes through cycles of growth and decay, high & lows, attraction & repulsion... it’s fascinating to see how we look for and try to hold on to... ray of light !

It’s natural to look for a glass of cool drink, when one is hot and thirsty. A good nap does wonders for one who is tired and exhausted. It’s probably necessary to experience some dark patches, to help us look for... ray of light !

While there is no dearth of inspiring speakers, flawless presenters, remarkable performers, dedicated professional, selfless workers... one still has to search for ... ray of light !

Given that one can have shadows only when we have light, it takes a lot of practice, patience and reflection to internalize that a shadow also points to... ray of light !   

...the Mantra!

Based on our nature, nurture, circumstances... we gradually figure out our formula to keep afloat... the Mantra!

How much importance we attach to an issue ... to our drive... to our values... point to... the Mantra!

For many years I have been having a glass of warm water with honey and lemon in the morning, as suggested by many for good health. Generally I am more comfortable in outdoors than indoors. Going for a walk stimulates me at many levels. For me it’s all part of... the Mantra!

A piece of music that stirs you, ... a story that inspires you...a dream that drives you... the resilience that sustains you... point to... the Mantra!

Gradually you come to realise that you are not far from ...the Mantra!

...burning desire!

We are creatures of habit. At any cross section, we can have the burning desire to achieve, make a lasting impression, solve a puzzle, address a social issue ... It seems that we are often in the grip of this ... burning desire!

Most of the actions are driven by results expected. The burning desire is its own reward. It provides the fuel for thought and action ... pulls you up or down... magnifies or diminishes your identity... helps with metabolism or hinders your digestion...one is certainly aware of this... burning desire!

Many years back, as a young child, I saw a lady restless in sheer pain... as she could not do much for her baby, who was in a room engulfed in flames! One can only imagine what she was going through.

Learning to manage this process, finding a reservoir of peace & tranquilly within, with a fair degree of surrender, is part of this ...burning desire!

... whatever surfaces!

Few years back, an astrologer was discussing her readings about my horoscope with me. It was a lively and intense experience. She did suggest that the Almighty does not subject us to a test, for which we are not prepared! Am sure this suggestion will gradually settle within and help me handle ... whatever surfaces!

Am sometimes reminded of a fine high school teacher. Even close to retirement, he used to say "Am becoming better & better, come what may, it does not matter". Am sure we have seen the picture of a frog, about to be swallowed, still trying to strangle its predator. The slogan reads "Never Ever Give Up".

Having come across hundreds of inspiring tales, narrations, events, one can see these waves reaching the shore, leaving some moisture behind and taking some sand away. In several relationships, dealings & associations, you gradually reach a steady state of mutual acceptance and empathy. Once this steady state is reached, you can handle...... whatever surfaces!

...dimensions of learning !

Sometimes the sight and plight of a close relation, friend, associate, even a pet and of course our own-self, can inspire us, grind us and uplift us. These are all ......dimensions of learning !

What catches my attention and inspires me, is actually not in my full control. An expression from Roosevelt "the only thing to fear is Fear" can influence the thought process at many levels. A fine narration of a character from centuries back, can find a seat within and gently guide many steps.

It's a pleasure to see the way several creative and gifted people, scholars ... in fact many many people have internalised and outgrown their limitations.

Few years back, I had gone to pick up our son from a friend's place. It was raining and wet allover. As I tried to rush towards the front of their door, I tripped on the way down. It was not a pleasant sight, but a good learning experience. As we know, there are many ...dimensions of learning !

... need to escape!

There are several packages to help us plan our holiday, retreats, outings, DJ sessions.. Given the routines of daily life, there can be a... need to escape!

It's a pleasure to see a tiny toddler have peaceful nap, totally oblivious of the surroundings. So long as it's basic needs are met, it is at peace with itself, with no ... need to escape!

Few years back, I was sitting next to a window, waiting for the flight to take off. Two good size ladies came & sat in the next two seats. Suddenly I felt suffocated and wanted to rush out.Lukily it worked out fine. Given my own need for open space & claustrophobic feel in closed spaces, am almost scared for miners, working underground in risky conditions, just in case there is ... need to escape!

With practice, we get to a stage, where we are comfortable in our skin. Am given to understand that at times, even adverse conditions can prompt us to dig for strength & creative energy within, while trying to manage the ... need to escape!

...focal length !

Physics explains the need to keep objects at a certain distance, for clarity of vision. Some of us wear specs to adjust the ...focal length !

A little baby can sit and sleep in your lap for hours. Gradually it will start moving, playing, hiding, seeking ... For clarity of vision, there will be an adjustment of the...focal length !

Sitting in lap of Nature, we can admire a blade of grass, covered in dew, as also the greenery many miles away, as we have the right ...focal length !

I have been keen to connect with others in social and professional settings. Few years back, a friend invited me to a professional networking event. The evening was fine, as was all the arrangement. Having been to several such events, I could see a slight shift in the ...focal length !

It's fascinating to see how we feel connected to others in different settings, at times with little contact. A note from an associate, sitting in another part of the world, a little smile from a toddler or a pet wagging its tail, can all gently tilt our ...focal length !

PS : "Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness". http://kendevine1952.blogspot.com/2011/03/graffiti.html

...the Story !

Having lived away from home for long periods, it has been necessary for me to communicate through letters. Gradually, the whole process of exchanging notes, becomes an integral part of ...the Story !


Once you put pen to paper, a certain creative energy manifests itself, sometimes.While it is not in your control, its flow does influence ...the Story !


When I look at my notes from years back, I can see that they are certainly telling some part of ...the Story !


"Be the change that you want to see" These words from Gandhi Ji have inspired many. Having learnt a bit about his journey, his interactions and his experiments, am getting a little bit about ...the Story !


Some four decades back, while walking by a construction site, I saw 5 little mice, frantically trying to dig a hole each in ground, right under the nose of a cat ! Few minutes later, one just gave up and was picked up by the cat. After seeing several events, narrations : deeply inspiring, sometimes scary and sad, or just sweet and gentle, I can see all of them trickling slowly somewhere into ...the Story !

... the Driver!

I have often enjoyed long drives, with music adding to the beauty of the passage. Was driving back from Newcastle to Sydney, few days back. Having driven many a time, over the years, by myself and also with family & friends, one is familiar with the passage. It's interesting to note that while many things change with time, perhaps, the one that does not change is the... the Driver!


Many learned ones have suggested to give up the idea of "doer-ship". It has been my effort to look after the safe passage of nears & dears. Am almost certain that am not ... the Driver!


There are moments, most deeply reflective and sensitive in nature, when I can say, I was with ... the Driver!


Long back, while driving along with our daughter, I would be eager to get to the work appointment. This fine teenage girl was relaxing with the music in slow traffic. This has been witnessed by ... the Driver!


Am pretty keen to handover everything totally to ... the Driver!

... art of enjoyment!

For some 3 decades, I do enjoy a cup of coffee. It's an acquired taste from uni days. Over the years, you figure out, what's a good coffee for you. I do try to reflect, where is enjoyment - is it in anticipation, or in the slow sip, or in the after-taste ! Hopefully it will help me decipher the ... art of enjoyment!

Music has found a seat within for decades. So many songs help you relate to your own roots, understand human relations, reflect on finer points and appreciate the creative artists
Had the fortune of attending the performance of a Gazaal master recently, having enjoyed his music for over 25 years.
It's pretty simple to understand that we all have our own liking for a particular type of music. It varies from person to person and with time
As Gulzar Sahib says - music fills our life. It helps me understand the ... art of enjoyment!

It seems Aristotle was asked how long should the legs be! As we understand, his reply was "long enough to reach the ground!" A certain degree of "grounded" feeling or self acceptance is part of the ... art of enjoyment!

... just one sentence !

The story goes that a well established king asked a noted scholar for a selection of books that one must read. An year later, as promised, the scholar presented the king with a row of camels, loaded with books that must be read! The king was furious. The poor scholar had to plead for a week's time to do better that this. A week later, the king was really agitated to find a camel loaded with books. The frightened scholar was given just one day to pull it together. Next day the king was presented with a golden plate with a note " There were people, they were born and they died!" ... just one sentence !

As I was leaving home to join uni in 76, my Grandfather asked me to take down a sentence for guidance :[translation] one who fights the storms, is a good Human Being, one who fights the intent, is the Real Being ! Over the years, I have reflected on this ... just one sentence !

My Grandmother gave me a picture of her chosen deity, saying "He will protect you" ...just one sentence !

It's fascinating to see how much can be conveyed and retained through... just one sentence !

... am fed up!!

Few years back, I joined a few friends for dinner. The setting was fine, as was the food. Just after a few bites, I felt I was not able to eat any more ! Suddenly it dawned on me that I was coming from another get-together & had a full meal just 30 min earlier ! After all once you are full, you don't say ... am fed up !

Having read several books, attended many sessions regarding positive psychology, art of living .. one sort of gets to a saturation point. One continues to learn all through, without saying ... am fed up!

Several songs have shaken me to the core for several years, helping me resonate with and absorb many elements. Gradually the interest in a particular song plateaus. You still value the words, the concept and the artists. There is no need to say that ...am fed up!

Having learnt about lives of few eminent people in different fields, it seems they have "turned around" their set backs and gained fine insights where they could easily have said .. am fed up!!

....rationale of my existence!

Its fascinating to see how human relationships evolve and have the potential to transform one's inner Being. The poet has beautifully captured this in these fine lines in Urdu.
Rafta rafta woh meri hasti ka saamaan ho gayey [ Gradually, it became the power/reason of my existence]
Pehlay jaan, phir jaan-e-jaan, phir jaan-e-jaana ho gayey [First my life, then the love of my life, then it became the beloved of my life]
Din-b-din badti gehin us husn ki raaniyaan [Day by day, their beauty / influence increased]
Pehlay Gul, phir gul-badan, phir gul-badamaan ho gayey ! [First a rose, then the body of a rose, then it became the greatest rose]
Aap to nazdeek say nazdeek-tar aatay gahey [You became closer and closer to me]
Pehlay dil, phir dilruba, phir dil kay mehmaan ho gayey [First the heart, then the sweetheart, then you became the guest of the heart]
Pyar jab Hadd se badha saare Taqaloof mith gayey[When love grew to its limit, all formalities got destroyed]
Aaap se phir tum huay phir tu ka Khunwaan hogayey [From a formal ‘you’ to an informal ‘you’, then ‘you’ disappeared]

To me this represents a fairly evolved stage of Unity - where formalities drop off automatically! Beauty is that this fine degree of empathy can be experienced with anyone - a close relation, companion, child, mentor, pet, even one's vocation / profession can be ...rationale of one's existence !

... not just inspiration!

In line with our nature, nurture and inner state, we absorb different signals from the environment. Having participated in several discussions, discourses, presentations, workshops – am pretty convinced that we are getting motivated, inspired in a unique individual fashion. In a group of 5 or 500, each one is picking up a different signal.

One of the more ingrained pictures for me is that of our elderly maid in early 70s. She conveys a spirit of sheer determination and hard work, against all odds to protect and nurture her grown up son, who had gone off tracks.

The picture sits somewhere within to guide me, help me make sense of the bigger picture. Its not that I make a deliberate attempt to remember the Maid. I don’t even know her name nor have her picture. She surfaces in thoughts, of her own accord and Grace.

Its part of my respiration… not just inspiration!

A famous poem fits this note “Mere Man Ke Andh Tamas Mein, Jyotirmayi Utaro” [O Mother: light up my inner being!] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmOsefz8C-s

… little hick-ups!

Sharing few signals over the years from … little hick-ups!


At the age of 16, I went to join Uni, at a distant location from home. Rigorous ragging was part of the informal “induction process” at the residential hostel. One night, few seniors decided that I must have a smoke & offered me a cigarette. Despite my humble & repeated pleas to the contrary, I was required to smoke. Without much of a choice, I was going to smoke! Just as the cigarette was going to touch me, a senior instructed – its OK – leave it!! Life has presented few challenges over the decades, driving me to the brink & thankfully saving me as well! Each such episode leaves you with a little message within.

One day, while cycling back from high school, I stopped for a drink of water at charitable water dispensing joint, called pyoo. An elderly man gave me water in a glass. Unintentionally, I left the empty glass there without rinsing it. He called me back & instructed me not to leave the glass unrinsed! A simple lesson that has been pretty handy for decades.

Our senior school physics teacher described an experiment one day. Next day, I openly questioned part of the description. It was fairly embarrassing to be given a dressing down for my bluntness! Gradually the edges rounded off – finally gaining kudos from many a teacher over many years.

...courage, confidence, conviction!

Human species is considered to be the most adaptive and survival oriented. One of the essential ingredients that keeps us going is Hope or Will to live, survive! This popular poem Ghazal captures the thought vividly – expressing the intensity of longing for Hope, confidence, reassurance!

manzil na de charaaG na de hausalaa to de
tinke kaa hii sahii tu magar aasaraa to de

If you cannot give me the destination, or the light / direction for the passage, at least give me the encouragement/will/hope (hausalaa) to get there. Even if it is in the form of a little twig – please give me some hope & confidence – as am sinking!

mai.n ne ye kab kahaa ke mere haq me.n ho javaab
lekin Khaamosh kyuu.N hai tuu ko_ii faisalaa to de

I have never asked for the Verdict to be in my favour, but why are You so quiet about Your Judgement.

baraso.n mai.n tere naam pe khaataa rahaa fareb
mere Khudaa kahaa.N hai tuu apanaa pataa to de

For decades, I have convinced/fooled/kid myself in Your Name. O My Lord! Do let me know where You are!

beshak mere nasiib pe rakh apanaa iKhtiyaar
lekin mere nasiib me.n kyaa hai bataa to de

Have all the control over my Destiny- just let me know what It holds for me!

For me, this hausalaa – will, hope, resolve and confidence has emerged from varied experiences. A note, phone call, visit or an innocent smile from a dear one has been the source sometimes. An expression from years back from a learned soul, has suddenly emerged from within to sustain me. Interestingly, even some unpleasant, challenging, threatening situations have also helped keep the flame going sometimes !



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBjVTYnENKA

Guru Moments !

There are several occasions when one can say - I was in the presence of the Guru. Few instances include

• A close family uncle saying “Rajeev … it (life) is just a dream ... the best way out is daan (charity / donation)”
• A very close elder saying “… we have more faith in Rajeev than in God…”
• Arrival of our kids - source of deep joy - sometimes challenging - but always comforting within
• Meeting our parent like family ( no blood relations) at Jamshedpur & the association taking deep roots within
• A close friend reaching our place in dire stress
• There are several occasions of being in presence of elders and evolved souls that go way beyond the realm of a regular meeting.
• I must mention the maid servant at our place in mid 70s - an old frail lady - from her meagre income - she used to save & buy shoes for her grown up son, who was behind bars - she was one courageous & determined lady
  
  Such encounters - that I feel are Guru Moments, have a deep impact:
• Seating of a concept within - like yogurt sets in a pot - it becomes an integral part of ‘you’ - it may not be at the forefront all the time - but its there.
• Clearing of cob-webs - your confusion settles down, you feel fairly rooted
• It adds to your conviction and self acceptance without any arrogance
  
  These Guru Moments
• Are mostly unexpected, unrecognised, unstructured, unplanned :- often recognisable only after a while
• The Guru is what you see in the picture - it’s a very different picture for others
• “Guru” need not be in a particular robe, posture, place or platform - infact they may not even know that you are seeing the “Guru” in them at that moment
• These moments are often loose ended, organic, almost evolving of their own accord - can be occasionally confrontational, uneasy, unsettling in short term but positively reassuring in the long term.
  
  The journey certainly continues…