... the Song Unsung !

In his famous poem Tagore Sahib says "The song that I came to sing remains unsung to this day.. I have spent my days in stringing and in unstringing my instrument.. The time has not come true, the words have not been rightly set; only there is the agony of wishing in my heart... I have not seen his face, nor have I listened to his voice; only I have heard his gentle footsteps from the road before my house....The livelong day has passed in spreading his seat on the floor; but the lamp has not been lit and I cannot ask him into my house. ...I live in the hope of meeting with him; but this meeting is not yet."

It's inspiring to see how an artist can so beautifully capture, preserve, nurture and then share such a tender thought. In all humbleness, to a degree, I feel that I have been able to sing.."The song that I came to sing.." 

Given our ability to seek, reflect upon and partly comprehend the Absolute, how simple to accept that " ...only I have heard his gentle footsteps from the road before my house"

Among the most fundamental of human faculties is ... "the hope of meeting with him". To that effect, we are all, in our ways, trying to absorb ... the Song Unsung !

...the street directory!

Many years back, I had picked up a friend from the airport. As I was still getting familiar with the route, I asked him to hold the street directory, just in case I needed to check the route. As we got home, he jokingly said – perhaps we can store away ...the street directory!  

Initially as one is not clear about the route, one needs the GPS, a guide or... ...the street directory !

It’s fascinating to see how comfortable one can get with the routes- enjoying the views, some music, a little conversation, sprinkle of imagination, without ...the street directory!

Nature provides its own signal to steer us perhaps. A tiny ant probably know where it’s heading without ...the street directory!

Few days back, some of us were having a snack, sitting in clear outdoors – under a little shaded area. A kookaburra came flying in, snatched the chip from one of the pals & just flew off. Perhaps it had it's own...the street directory! 

... Reflective definitions !

It’s said that when a child is born, a parent is born. We live with and gradually internalise these ... Reflective definitions.

It has been a pleasure explaining fine concepts to peers, students and others. In case I have a student, I can be labelled as a teacher. This delicate balance and gentle energy flow is part of .. Reflective definitions

It has been my sincere effort to look after the two pets. Their tender look, gentle stretch and friendly contact, add to the. .. Reflective definitions

As you watch a good program, sip a decent coffee, achieve a milestone or enjoy a comic strip, at times, there is an urge to share the experience with others...The thought that someone is keen to hear from me, about me is a fine motivator. Gradually one learns to grow beyond these .. Reflective definitions

Having gone through fair few experiences, good & not-so-good, brilliant and challenging, threatening & uplifting, comforting & confronting, it’s increasingly clear that these are all part of ... Reflective definitions.

... the Design !

The story goes that a young princess Pootna was simply smitten by a good looking young monk vising the palace. She earnestly wished to "mother" him. Some time later, following some unpleasant exchange, she was determined to "poison" him! Given the intensity of her desire, it's said, The Lord granted both, eventually taking her in His care. The story helps me decipher ... the Design !


It's fascinating to see countless translations of this saga in everyday life. How easily our desires multiply, change form and drive us to achieve, sustain, posses and preserve. Long back, I do remember, getting concerned about academic grades on a few occasions. On most occasions, I was able to bounce back right away ! In the midst of it all, you try to figure out ... the Design !


Most economic models try to establish and validate any proposal in terms of Net Present Value. Any step we take is certainly influenced by the perceived value of returns. The beauty of human life lies in the ever changing, evolving, organic and subjective nature of ... the Design !


Several suggestions have been offered to help as along. A friendly dialogue, sharing notes, silent reflection and meditation, determined outlook, guidance from learned ones and a generous dose of humour helps me comprehend. It seems that our passage, is also part of ... the Design !

... as it is !

Some 35 years back, I had just joined the hostel at uni. Ragging till late night by seniors was common. One night, I happened to be back to my room at a reasonable time & simply fell asleep. Some time later, when the room-mate returned and knocked at the door, there was no response from me. After repeated knocks and no response, quite a few hostlers gathered & decided to push open the door! Just as the door was being forced open, I woke up totally surprised ! Over the years, I have figured out, one may or may not get such a sound sleep every time. Am almost able to accept it... as it is!

Having walked with friends & relations over many miles, one can see that we all have our own journey. Even with the best of intent, I need not labour my point of view. I can accept it... as it is!

There is a tree in our street that has its bark peeling off, given its age. It still has a fine presence for me. I accept it... as it is!

Nearly 25 years back, 'had gone out for a weekend get-together with few friends from the industrial unit, where I was a trainee. It was a lively, relaxed, fun session. There was a soothing classical song, pretty popular at that time - that was played 30 times during the evening ! Over the years, I have figured out, each meeting need not be the same. Am able to accept it... as it is!

It's an earnest effort to gradually be in a frame, whereby, am comfortably accepting most of the events, interactions, developments.... as it is!

One of the most fundamental concepts am trying to internalise is that of "surrender". The best I can describe, it is our effortless internal acceptance of Life force, ultimately our own Self... as it is !

With warm good wishes & season's greetings

...form of meditation!

In line with our nature and nurture, we all have our own preferred way to seek "happiness", find and enjoy ourselves. This is an attempt to describe few ways that work for me.
Having enjoyed, reflected on, thrilled by and floated with hundreds of songs over many years, one form of meditation for me is ...music

Having attended several discourses, workshops, retreats about personal & spiritual development, one can add that company of learned ones, as also discussion with fellow travellers help immensely.

There are several moments, that are so complete that time seems to stop at least for a moment This could be a leisurely talk with an acquaintance,, a gentle walk with a pet, explaining a concept to a class, finding a way out of a problematic situation or just being "aware" of an issue of concern!

Am gradually finding that comedy is serious business! It's always fulfilling to share a joke, a cup of coffee, watch a movie with family & friends.

To me, writing & sharing these notes is also a ...form of meditation!

...the shifting ground!

Over four decades back, I picked up a few laminations from a discarded lot, on the way back from the primary school. It was a treasured lot for play. A close family friend, 'stole' some of these. I was really upset, even more concerned that my folks continued to be friends with "their" family. Gradually, the whole episode appears so insignificant and kid stuff ! I can see ... the shifting ground!

Nearly two decades back, we moved overseas. What was the foundation and identity for decades, the place of childhood, youth, marriage, birth of kids, the parental "home" continued to have massive pull within for long. After a while the parental family also migrated. Happened to visit the place few months back. While I have vivid memory of many miles, I can see ... the shifting ground!

Sitting in the train, on the way to/from work, sometimes I doze off. Few stations pass by, without noticing ...the shifting ground!

Gradually, am trying to figure out, what stays with you, despite ...the shifting ground!

...depth of Pain!!

We mortals are exposed to pleasure & pain, as we are to day & night, the four seasons!


There are several moments, that represent to me, deepest of human pain. This is an attempt to describe, decipher and comprehend some of these moments essentially to understand the strength of human Spirit. I distinctly remember the sight of my Grandmother, crying helplessly at the death of my Uncle. Her only son had departed, leaving behind the whole family. The way the family has sailed through nearly four decades remains a testimony to the strength of human Spirit.


There are several other moments that are comparable to this one. In every single instance, some Bigger force helps with recovery, as I understand, from the ...depth of Pain!!

...power of prayer!

Having seen almost all elders pray in different shapes & forms, there is an implicit faith and acceptance within of the power of prayer!

To begin with one prays for material gain, achievement, a sense of self-worth, security, social status…On several occasions, automatically, you find yourself praying for the well being of nears & dears. It has been a pleasure to have seen several deep rooted prayers mature beautifully ... not necessarily in a linear fashion.

Gradually you try to figure out, who is asking Whom for What! At this cross-section, the best I can say I am seeking Faith, It’s said that a little mouse in a cat’s mouth feels most scared. A little kitten in cat’s mouth feels most safe! It’s essentially a matter of cultivating Faith!

One can just admire the creative genius of several artists that have captured such fine notes, so beautifully: [In Punjabi : Hor kee mangna main rabb kolon, nit kher manga tere dum dee, baaj sajjan lajjpaal tere, mai kohjian kede kaam dee] what more can I ask God, I pray only for your longer life, because without my guardian my true love, I am worthless …

http://punjabi-songs-lyrics.blogspot.com/2009/06/nitt-khair-manga-sohneya-mai-teri.html

...courage, confidence, conviction!

Human species is considered to be the most adaptive and survival oriented. One of the essential ingredients that keeps us going is Hope or Will to live, survive! This popular poem Ghazal captures the thought vividly – expressing the intensity of longing for Hope, confidence, reassurance!

manzil na de charaaG na de hausalaa to de
tinke kaa hii sahii tu magar aasaraa to de

If you cannot give me the destination, or the light / direction for the passage, at least give me the encouragement/will/hope (hausalaa) to get there. Even if it is in the form of a little twig – please give me some hope & confidence – as am sinking!

mai.n ne ye kab kahaa ke mere haq me.n ho javaab
lekin Khaamosh kyuu.N hai tuu ko_ii faisalaa to de

I have never asked for the Verdict to be in my favour, but why are You so quiet about Your Judgement.

baraso.n mai.n tere naam pe khaataa rahaa fareb
mere Khudaa kahaa.N hai tuu apanaa pataa to de

For decades, I have convinced/fooled/kid myself in Your Name. O My Lord! Do let me know where You are!

beshak mere nasiib pe rakh apanaa iKhtiyaar
lekin mere nasiib me.n kyaa hai bataa to de

Have all the control over my Destiny- just let me know what It holds for me!

For me, this hausalaa – will, hope, resolve and confidence has emerged from varied experiences. A note, phone call, visit or an innocent smile from a dear one has been the source sometimes. An expression from years back from a learned soul, has suddenly emerged from within to sustain me. Interestingly, even some unpleasant, challenging, threatening situations have also helped keep the flame going sometimes !



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBjVTYnENKA

.... probably am a liar !

During his rigorous training, one day a young monk spread his Guru’s cloth for drying, as we are told. Later that evening the cloth is found to have a little scratch – while the young monk pleads innocence – he is labelled as a Liar by the Guru – that too in presence of others! Much later the young monk figured out that the Guru was right – TRUTH can not be described & hence he was a Liar!


Gradually am finding that ... probably am a liar because I can hardly describe completely:
- the satisfaction I can derive from a cup of coffee
- the lasting impression that a brief encounter with another being can leave within
- the reason a warm gesture from our pet can reduce me to tears sometimes
- the fact that some piece of music can shake the core within, even after few decades

Hopefully, I get to the stage where I need not say that .... probably am a liar!

...spectrum of associations!

Few thoughts regarding various degrees of associations with fellow humans

Beep thought: Essentially marks early stages of friendship, empathy, association. You would “beep” the other person

-When you want to share a joke, an article you read last week
-When you want to spend few leisurely hours
-When you buy a new mobile, plant a few trees, get a promotion!

Creep thought: Gets a fair bit more serious here. You look for company where you can share your insecurities, failures, fears, anxieties etc – may be a shoulder to cry on – to lighten that creepy feeling within.

Sleep thought: This forms pretty advanced stage of any acquaintance, relationship etc. You “think / feel” that

-The other person will not be able to sleep peacefully – without the knowledge of your wellbeing.
-“their” picture is incomplete without your inclusion & vice verse

As the old couplet goes “sirf ahsaas hai – rooh say mehsoos karo” [it’s a deep feeling, experienced only within]. To quote Amrita Pritam [translation] “in case mention of your name – brings moisture to their eyes – you can be rest assured – you still exist in their inner being. It’s strange that we always look for this proof of our own existence!” She was right!

...the illusion !

It’s human nature to make sense of this ever-changing and evolving World around us. This is an attempt to decipher part of this phenomenon with the help of a famous poem, Gazaal

The poet has beautifully captured the illusionary, transitory, impermanent nature of the World we “see”: labelling it as a Magical Toy: it’s of little value when we have it, but becomes invaluable – in case we lose it!!

duniyaa jise kahate hain jaaduu kaa khilonaa hai
mil jaaye to miTTii hai kho jaaye to sonaa hai

For reason whatsoever there is no point cribbing all the time and not be fully with and absorbed in the present “moment”: whether it is the fine weather or even a solitary moment by itself

achchhaa saa koii mausam tanahaa saa koii aalam
har vaqt kaa ronaa to bekaar kaa ronaa hai

Highlighting the unpredictability of the events, the poet adds that the cloud has a mind of its own! Does it know which path to avoid & which roof to shower on!!

barsaat kaa baadal to diivaanaa hai kyaa jaane
kis raah se bachanaa hai kis chhat ko bhigonaa hai

Happiness & unhappiness are both temporary phenomenon: our companions for a short while, what remains is the passage, without any need to rejoice or regret!

gham ho ki khushii donon kuchh der ke saathii hain
phir rastaa hii ras-taa hai haNsanaa hai na ronaa ha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP5r23rVdew&feature=player_embedded#

Blessings...

• There is a deep rooted acceptance within of “blessings” from elders, well wishers, saints & sages
• As a learned saint described – blessings can not be given / sought at will. It’s a phenomenon that takes place of its own accord, when the giver and recipient are ready,
• Few illustrative points as I see
  o Blessings can flow from anyone to anyone – between any two living beings
  o The impact is normally long term – e.g. clearing of a deep rooted doubt, fear, energy blockage, misconception etc
  o An eagerness to seek meaning of life, be in touch with rhythm of life, seems to help in seeking blessings – a respectful orientation helps too.
  o One can add the classic Zen illustration of empty cup – you can only pour into an empty cup!!!
  o Am tempted to note that blessings keenly help with spiritual progress, self understanding, journey towards final destination, like a catalyst

..pull of Gravity !

There are occasions when you can feel the pull of Gravity on your soul, not just on your body. This is an attempt to describe, illustrate and share these ecstatic moments.

• It was Newton who “discovered” laws of gravity – Earth pulls us with exactly the same force, as we exert, despite its huge mass.
• Einstein: spent several long years – trying to demonstrate a “unified” force – it still remains to be demonstrated.
• Experience when you can feel the pull of Gravity :-
  o Very moving, immensely intense, you feel “pulled”, helplessly teary at the same time fully aware, joyful and blissful – more than just happy! Probably it’s a state beyond duality of happiness & sadness – its bliss!
  o Almost “choking experience” – with water taking over airways and dissolving all solid matter within! – and you want it that way !
  o You want the experience to last for ever. It seems time stops for few moments!
  o Your inner self melts – feels very much in presence of a bigger Self.
  o You almost cease to exist as an individual entity - you are sort of “consumed” by the bigger Self – you feel safe & fearless, though there are hardly any feelings!
  o Normally this is precipitated by an event or recollection of the event :-
• A song, narration, illustration very dear to you
• Meeting or leaving a very close relation, illuminated being, friend, associate after a long time or in special circumstance!
• One can not engineer this state – though regular practice, meditation and reflection help. The same song, the same episode, the same dialogue may or may not precipitate the experience.

When you try to recount the experience – only few pieces are scattered around! One way to describe it is – that at that moment – you are not concerned as to when the bough breaks!

... looking at You!

There is longing within at certain stages in our life, for the fine union with the Infinite...

Kiven mukray tun nazran hataavan Kay tere vichun rab disda [How do I turn my attention away from your face: for I see the lord therein !]

Minnu shauq mahi tere deedar da, Mukh rab da hai, muck sarkaar da sajna[I long to see your Face. It’s the face of the Lord for me!!]

Iss ishq di marz anokhi ae, Nayee hatdi vedh haqeeman tun
Tere saamne marzan katt jaavan Mere dard da chaara tun ve
[The ‘pain’ caused by this Love is strange indeed, not curable by physicians. ‘Am prepared to sacrifice myself completely: as You are the only cure for my Pain!]

Naii teryan nazaaryan jee bharda, Tennu takda ravvan ae jee karda[I can’t get enough of your Sight, just want to look at You endlessly!]

Mukhra dhekna tera, hajj sadda Teri deed ae namaaz saddi
[Looking at You is my supreme pilgrimage, To see You is my prayer!]

Ro ro kay hanju suk gaye ne Taaray vi gin gin muk gaye ne
[The tears have dried off after long crying. The stars have also gradually disappeared]

Teri deed umeed hai jeenay di Ik pal araam na theevay aaye
[Prospect of meeting you is my only Hope, otherwise there is no respite for me]

Chad doorian nu kadhi kohl tea a Dhuk sunan sunaan nu jee karda [Leave this distance come close to me, Am longing to share the joys & sorrows with You]

Mein qabar de vich vi jag soneya Akh kholan saamnay tun hovayn [I want wish to see You in front of me : even when I open my eyes in my grave]

Tennu akhiyan de vich mein lukhaavan Kay tere vichun rab disda. [ Want to hide you in my eyes, for I see the Lord in You]

Tun mera mein teri hovan [Want to realise: You are mine & am Yours!]

There is longing within at certain stages in our life, for the fine union with the Infinite. To start with, this can be experienced through relations, friends, pets, passion, profession and even a benevolent cause. It’s deeply moving to have a glimpse of this all consuming, almost deafening and overpowering Love – that defines Itself. It has been my great fortune to have seen this Love – manifest Itself on several occasions, especially through caring souls, when they find a loved one at stake…

With an earnest wish to get to the state where: You are mine & am Yours!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMsCM9NDbIw

Without You [Tere Bin..]

Tere Bin...

This song, immortalised by Nusrat Sahib, beautifully captures the longing in every heart for the Infinite, at least at some stage!! The words closely describe the yearning within. It’s said that gradually this yearning, this "pain" helps you find the Steady One!!

Tere Bin Nahi Lagda Dil Mera Dholna
Without you,my heart is not at peace without you my love
Jaania Haania Tu Vi Sikh Ke De Dukh Sukh Pholna
My life, my love...you too learn how to share happiness and sorrow
Puchh kaale baddlan to Seene Vich Ag Lage Lang Gaya Kayee Barsatan
Ask the black clouds how the fire in my chest still burns, yet many monsoons have passed
Tur Gayo Sajna Neendran Kho Ke Jaag Ke Katiyan Rataan
You have gone away after snatching away all my sleep I've spent my nights awake
Avija Na Sata Wasta Pyaar Ae ruttan Sohniya Murr Nai Aaniya
Come back, don't test me, for the sake of love, Sweetheart, these times(seasons) are not going to come back
Jaane Khuda Meharbaan Tere Siva
God knows how I cry without you

http://www.veoh.com/collection/PrinceNFAK/watch/v199580dXd2mtBW#

Several scholars have pointed to the same fact... in different words. Tagore Sahib says in Song Unsung: The song that I came to sing remains unsung to this day.
I have spent my days in stringing and in unstringing my instrument.
The time has not come true, the words have not been rightly set;
only there is the agony of wishing in my heart. ..
only I have heard his gentle footsteps from the road before my house.
The livelong day has passed in spreading his seat on the floor;
but the lamp has not been lit and I cannot ask him into my house.
I live in the hope of meeting with him; but this meeting is not yet.

Another poet adds : "main safar mein huun mere saath judaayi teri : hamasafar gam hain to phir kisako juda kisase karein" [ am travelling this path with "separation" from you as my companion!! How can one be separated from this feeling of longing-ness / "pain "]

This note will remain incomplete without this couplet:
jo fanaa huye Gam-e-ishq me.n u.nhe.n zindagii kaa na Gam huaa
[Those who got destroyed in the pain of Love, never regretted it!!]

jo na apanii aag me.n jal sake vo paraa_ii aag me.n jal gaye
[Those. who could not be consumed by their own Fire, were engulfed by others flame!!]

With an earnest wish that we find our own Fire...