...Home Alone !

Its interesting that we humans can feel isolated, lonely by ourselves at various cross sections, even in pretty good circumstances!
- It can happen in company of several others, with whom we have / feel limited connection or common interest.
- Presence of challenges, responsibilities, hopelessness, fears can all lead to feeling of alienation
- Surprisingly, once 'am connected to myself, the external factors become less relevant & challenging. Listening to music, enjoying a comedy, sharing notes, spending time with family, friends & pets help me connect to myself.
- Its fascinating to see some evolved souls express the joy of solitude even in a cave. Few have composed poems expressing their link to the hostel room or even a prison cell.
I guess its a reflection of my inner state whether am feeling at home ... or Home Alone !

...courage, confidence, conviction!

Human species is considered to be the most adaptive and survival oriented. One of the essential ingredients that keeps us going is Hope or Will to live, survive! This popular poem Ghazal captures the thought vividly – expressing the intensity of longing for Hope, confidence, reassurance!

manzil na de charaaG na de hausalaa to de
tinke kaa hii sahii tu magar aasaraa to de

If you cannot give me the destination, or the light / direction for the passage, at least give me the encouragement/will/hope (hausalaa) to get there. Even if it is in the form of a little twig – please give me some hope & confidence – as am sinking!

mai.n ne ye kab kahaa ke mere haq me.n ho javaab
lekin Khaamosh kyuu.N hai tuu ko_ii faisalaa to de

I have never asked for the Verdict to be in my favour, but why are You so quiet about Your Judgement.

baraso.n mai.n tere naam pe khaataa rahaa fareb
mere Khudaa kahaa.N hai tuu apanaa pataa to de

For decades, I have convinced/fooled/kid myself in Your Name. O My Lord! Do let me know where You are!

beshak mere nasiib pe rakh apanaa iKhtiyaar
lekin mere nasiib me.n kyaa hai bataa to de

Have all the control over my Destiny- just let me know what It holds for me!

For me, this hausalaa – will, hope, resolve and confidence has emerged from varied experiences. A note, phone call, visit or an innocent smile from a dear one has been the source sometimes. An expression from years back from a learned soul, has suddenly emerged from within to sustain me. Interestingly, even some unpleasant, challenging, threatening situations have also helped keep the flame going sometimes !



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBjVTYnENKA

.... probably am a liar !

During his rigorous training, one day a young monk spread his Guru’s cloth for drying, as we are told. Later that evening the cloth is found to have a little scratch – while the young monk pleads innocence – he is labelled as a Liar by the Guru – that too in presence of others! Much later the young monk figured out that the Guru was right – TRUTH can not be described & hence he was a Liar!


Gradually am finding that ... probably am a liar because I can hardly describe completely:
- the satisfaction I can derive from a cup of coffee
- the lasting impression that a brief encounter with another being can leave within
- the reason a warm gesture from our pet can reduce me to tears sometimes
- the fact that some piece of music can shake the core within, even after few decades

Hopefully, I get to the stage where I need not say that .... probably am a liar!

...spectrum of associations!

Few thoughts regarding various degrees of associations with fellow humans

Beep thought: Essentially marks early stages of friendship, empathy, association. You would “beep” the other person

-When you want to share a joke, an article you read last week
-When you want to spend few leisurely hours
-When you buy a new mobile, plant a few trees, get a promotion!

Creep thought: Gets a fair bit more serious here. You look for company where you can share your insecurities, failures, fears, anxieties etc – may be a shoulder to cry on – to lighten that creepy feeling within.

Sleep thought: This forms pretty advanced stage of any acquaintance, relationship etc. You “think / feel” that

-The other person will not be able to sleep peacefully – without the knowledge of your wellbeing.
-“their” picture is incomplete without your inclusion & vice verse

As the old couplet goes “sirf ahsaas hai – rooh say mehsoos karo” [it’s a deep feeling, experienced only within]. To quote Amrita Pritam [translation] “in case mention of your name – brings moisture to their eyes – you can be rest assured – you still exist in their inner being. It’s strange that we always look for this proof of our own existence!” She was right!

...the illusion !

It’s human nature to make sense of this ever-changing and evolving World around us. This is an attempt to decipher part of this phenomenon with the help of a famous poem, Gazaal

The poet has beautifully captured the illusionary, transitory, impermanent nature of the World we “see”: labelling it as a Magical Toy: it’s of little value when we have it, but becomes invaluable – in case we lose it!!

duniyaa jise kahate hain jaaduu kaa khilonaa hai
mil jaaye to miTTii hai kho jaaye to sonaa hai

For reason whatsoever there is no point cribbing all the time and not be fully with and absorbed in the present “moment”: whether it is the fine weather or even a solitary moment by itself

achchhaa saa koii mausam tanahaa saa koii aalam
har vaqt kaa ronaa to bekaar kaa ronaa hai

Highlighting the unpredictability of the events, the poet adds that the cloud has a mind of its own! Does it know which path to avoid & which roof to shower on!!

barsaat kaa baadal to diivaanaa hai kyaa jaane
kis raah se bachanaa hai kis chhat ko bhigonaa hai

Happiness & unhappiness are both temporary phenomenon: our companions for a short while, what remains is the passage, without any need to rejoice or regret!

gham ho ki khushii donon kuchh der ke saathii hain
phir rastaa hii ras-taa hai haNsanaa hai na ronaa ha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP5r23rVdew&feature=player_embedded#